1 year ago today.

First let me just say HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD, I LOVE YOU!

It is funny, the days that stay burned in your memory. I can't tell you what day my graduation was or the day that I bought my house. I can vividly remember the days I found out I was pregnant and the day that my husband swept me off my feet.

One day that is burned in my memory until I die is January 8th, 2009. On that day not only did I find out that my youngest was a bouncing baby boy, but I found out that he had Spina Bifida, hydrocephalus, and possible Arnold Chiari II. Now God has worked in my life many many ways, but on this day, laying in a cold room, looking at my baby boy on a huge flat screen TV, God walked in and took my hand. The Doctor entered the room again, and told us she couldn't give us a prognosis and was sending us to a pediatric Nuero surgeon. She gave me a grim outlook. She began to offer abortion, I declined before she could even finish. She offered amnio, I again, declined. My baby boy was going to be just fine.

I am proud to say that on May 11th I gave birth to a gorgeous baby boy. He is now almost 8 months old and after 2 surgeries and a lot of TLC and even more Prayer he is doing wonderful and has exceeded all of the Doctors expectations. Believe in the power of prayer friends, it is amazing!

There are many times in our lives where we talk to God, but only when we need him. 4 years ago, that was me. Then things happen in life and God pushes you to trust him. It is strange how the easy way out most time is the wrong way. Being the bigger person, taking the high road, doing what is right, is usually the hardest thing to do. I cannot tell you the relief that you feel, when you are laying in a floor crying not knowing what to do and then you cry out loud, LORD I GIVE IT TO YOU, IT IS IN YOUR HANDS, DO WITH ME WHAT YOU WILL. I have been there, many, many times, and sometimes it doesn't work how you plan, because it isn't what we want...it is Gods will. I can promise you what ever God brings you to, he will bring you through.

I try so hard to explain the way I feel knowing that God is in my life, and it is something that is inexplicable, something you have to feel for yourself.

With all of that being said, I hope none of you have to experience a time so hard as I did, but I urge you, if you don't know the Lord, there is no better time than now to find him....


***a special thanks to some special friends that helped me get through, and a wonderful family I love you all***