I don't even know where to start. I was just going to make a facebook post and realized there isn't enough characters allowed for everything I want to say about this child. If you're new to reading my (not so up-to-date) blog I have 3 kids. 2 boys 1 my oldest the other my youngest, I love my boys it is a different love, a mother son love, a love that I'm raising strong, independent young men and teaching them how to treat and love a woman but in the same respect how to not be used and fall victim to crazy ones (lol). I also have a girl a sweet, sensitive, dramatic not-so-little-anymore girl, my sweet Avery Brooke. This will be brutally honest but stick with me because hopefully in the end it will make all sorts of sense.
I didn't want a girl. I'm not a girly girl, I dress up ok when I need to but I'm no where near high maintenance I need 10 minutes tops to get ready. Being a mother of a boy worked for me, he fell I told him to get up and brush it off, he got dirty I could just pass it off as "he's a boy", he plays sports and I'm his biggest fan. The day I went to find out what Avery would be I went just absolutely knowing she was a boy, she had to be, what on earth would I do with a girl!? I was 12 weeks pregnant and there she was legs spread on a teeny black and white monitor with all the little girl parts. Surely he was wrong!? I mean 12 weeks is early to be 100% positive. He told me not to paint the room pink but he was 90% sure that he was indeed a she. Fast forward to my 20week ultrasound it was confirmed I'm being thrusted into the world of unknowns. I was a horrible kid rebellious and angry and my sister was the girly girl, God, what am I going to do if she wants dresses all the time!? I became ok with the fact it was a girl, I even started buying little girl clothes, dresses and pink shirts adorned with "daddy's little princess" sayings on it. Who am I becoming!?
December 3rd I was handed a screaming hot beautiful mess of a pink bundle. I fell so deeply in love with this child. Laying in the hospital bed alone with her and her sweet squeaky breathing as she slept, I promised her to be the best mom I could ever be, that I would teach her how to be a lady but not to ever have to depend on anyone. I knew she would be strong, I knew she would be intelligent and I knew I had my work cut out.
Days turned into months, months into years, 7 to be exact. She's a drama queen, she wears her emotions on her sleeve (she got that from me, not that I readily admit it, I grew tough skin with a hard exterior you've only seen me have emotions if I trust you now) she wants so badly to help everyone she sees, her heart is bigger than her body. She has a good little mixture of Tom boy and Princess. Any day it's above 30° outside you'll find her in girly clothing but barely recognize it since it's covered in mud.
I'm hard on her, very hard. I realize this, I'm determined. I need her to know how strong she is, I need her to use that strong willed attitude for the good, I want her to go far. I want her to let those nasty words someone says roll right off her back without even thinking twice be be able to still love that mean person anyway. I want her to achieve it all, to go as far as she wants to go without NEEDING a man to get her through. I want to watch her succeed and then find a man that is her perfect match, that loves her and doesn't hold her back. I WANT SO MUCH FOR HER, and that is why I'm harder on her.
I got a call from the school last week. Avery had been nominated from her class to receive the Student of the Year award. My heart fluttered, I didn't even know this award existed and neither did Avery. That's what makes it special, she wasn't striving to achieve this, she was just being Avery. We kept it a secret. She had no idea why she was there. They started with 5th grade and worked their way backwards. I watched her smile, proud of her peers and clap for them, agree with what the teacher had to say about them, her eyes tear up in joy for them. (Just a side note: this child spent her entire summer memorizing names and faces from her year book, she didn't stop until she could recognize every person in the school and call them by name, she knows them all). It was time for the first grade awards. Her teacher was up first, she still had no idea it was her name that would be called. "I've nominated Avery Williams" her face lit up like Clark Griswold's house at Christmas. She was so happy, so proud, she stood there while Mrs. Eckard read a summary of why she picked Avery:
" Avery Williams is not only a hard worker who excels in all academic subjects, she is a kind and caring student who tries to bring out the best in everybody. Avery will go out of her way to help other students in class that are having a bad day or struggling with something. She has kind words to say to everyone and will encourage those who may be frustrated. She gives compliments to her peers and does not hesitate to help when she sees somebody in need. I have noticed Avery is especially kind and helpful to students with special needs. She truly wants to see everyone around her be their best, and she does everything she can to help others achieve and feel good about themselves.
Avery is responsible, kind and respectful to her peers and teachers. I am privileged to be her teacher this year and I know she will do great things in her future"
I cannot even put into words the feeling I feel in my heart right now, how I have this love, this pride, this feeling that I cannot even begin to put into words for this child. I am beyond blessed to be able to call her my daughter. I am beyond proud of her for being the compassionate, loving, caring, hard working GIRL that she is. I wouldn't trade my children for anything.
Avery, you can do anything you want to, I pray you never change who you truly are. Your compassion, your understanding, your empathy, your love for human kind is absolutely amazing, you are indeed a role model for your peers and adults around you. I love you with all my heart Pootah bear.
So yeah, I'm a Mom, I have 2 boys and 1 girl and I wouldn't have it any other way.