Tuesday, May 6, 2014

FIVE and possibly a picture overload.

I am writing this early because I know I will get busy and the emotion is already there so that is when I do my best writing. On Sunday Gavin will be 5.

I read a post recently about a father of 2. He talked about how the second child's firsts weren't as amazing as the first's because he had already seen that done and he decided to make a list of lasts because these were moments he would only experience one last time.

I think Moms and Dads are wired differently, in fact, I know they are. I was just as ecstatic for Walker's first steps as I was for Avery's and of course I was elated when Gavin took his . However, my LAST baby is turning 5...FIVE as in half a decade, where did the time go, kindergarten next year, holy cow slow down, FIVE. (Walker just turned 13, don't even get me started on the 13, thirteen as in holy cow 3 years and he will drive, 5 and he's an adult, stop growing you're already taller than me, 13.)

Five. In the past five years I've lived a lot of bittersweet lasts. I will never have them again, never. Why oh why does time go so very fast.

Gavin, 'white hawk of battle'. So he was. Born a toe head and battled his wars. He's still fighting and he's winning. His name fits.

It doesn't seem as though five years has passed. May 11th 2009 I certainly didn't see today as coming as fast as it has. But it's here, I cannot stop it. As much as I want to pause, I cannot. 

Gavin: Determined, strong, fighter, adorable, mischievous, flirt, happy, blue eyed, farmers tan, t-ball player, iPad guru, hard headed (wonder where he gets that), miracle, independent (I have to admit there was a lump in my throat when I typed that), five years old, FIVE.

You all know about Gavin. To sum it up without being completely redundant. Gavin was born with spina bifida, hydrocephalus and Arnold Chiari Malformation II. He spent almost 1 month in the NICU at chippenham and had 2 surgeries (on closure and one shunt placement). We were told Gavin would likely have a poor quality of life, that he probably wouldn't walk and the best option for the child was abortion.

May 2009

Finally home where he belongs!

This picture means so much to me. I don't know how many of you know this but Gavin literally cried all day (and a lot of nights) for the better part of 4-6 months. This chair he sat in I would put my foot on it and bounce him all day. It was the only way he would be happy unless he was eating. I look at this and see that smile and all those months of sobbing (he and I both) fade away. All it took was one picture, one moment to erase all of that.

boom boom fire power

I love this picture of him, however, that day I was thrust into the world of people not understanding 'special needs'. The photographer kept asking how old he was and wanted him to stand she didn't understand that he couldn't and was like I will put a block up there, lady.he.can.not.stand.yet. anyway the picture is adorable.

His first Birthday. He had serious texture issues and would not eat much of anything. I actually had to smash the cake into his face to even get a picture of him with icing on his face. He was less than thrilled.

his nemesis, the ice cream cone.

we should probably stick to a bowl and spoon.

photos he will hate me for one day.

Random photos in no particular order.

Just because this is so Gavin.

so happy birthday Gman. We love you so very much and are so VERY VERY proud of you.


  1. I have chills.. and tears.. Happy Birthday Gavin!!!!

  2. Happy Birthday Gavin hope you have a special day grandma and grandpa send our love.......hope you have lots of surprises on your special day. love you grandma and grandpa